I thought about this question today as it seems like we aren't all in agreement on this question, "what are we living for?" Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Groups, time after time,  don't always agree on the thing they want out of a movement. For us, this comes with a lot of questions. Was it marriage? Is it full equality? Is to be considered "normal?" Is it to pass? Is to be able to chameleon into any environment? Is it the respect of straight people?

I don't have all the time, or room, in this post to go through all the different questions, but it's intriguing nevertheless. I've met some gay men who, more often than not, don't want the parades, or the fanfare. They don't shout their gayness to the rooftops, and they don't want it to be known much at all. Outside of their circles, they're fine as is. Some don't want to get married. Some see their gayness as just a single part of them, not the whole makeup of their being. Some see us fighting, and think little of it. They have their life, and their way of being, and they don't need to fight. They don't need to post, share, donate, galvanize.

What this brings up is that there are many facets to us. We aren't all going to be celebrating the Pride parade. Not all of us want the marriage and the kids. Not all of us want the rainbow flag outside our door. But, this begs the question, what is that these folks want? From my experience, most of them just want to go about their lives, choose the partner they want, and live out their days. They are gay, and they are proud of it, but they know that their being gay isn't everything they are.

But where does it stop? How far can it go until you're at that place where being gay is not even a part of you? If being gay isn't important to you, then what is? If you're not fighting for the cause, then what are you doing? The great thing about being gay is that we can be anything we want to be. Sure. But being gay, in many respects, comes with a history that's worth fighting for. You get the house and the kids and the job, but what about all those people that don't? You have the mom and dad who love you unconditionally, but a lot of people aren't given that luxury. You can pass and choose the life you want, but for many people, they can't pass. While you sit at home with your partner, their own mothers wont even answer their calls. Refusing to do Pride parades, refusing to donate, to volunteer, to vote for people who support your community, to be out to your family, to show who you are, to even do something so small as posting an article on your Facebook -- when you do this, when you refuse these things, it flies in the face of everything we fought for.

Being gay isn't all that makes a person. But it's still a huge, huge part. It's a part of who you are, in everything you do. And when you push that down, or laugh it off, or refuse to take part in the conversation, then you're doing a disservice to yourself and your community. People fought and died for us. The least we can do is be proud of who we are.